Characters of 8-Bit Theater
The events in the webcomic, 8-Bit Theater, center around four major characters — the Light Warriors — and a number of minor ones.
The Light Warriors
The Light Warriors are the main characters of 8-Bit Theater. They consist of:
- Black Mage: A chaotic, egotistical, power-hungry and murderous wizard who is highly proficient in black magic, but generally incapable of casting (or unwilling to cast) any beneficial or non-destructive spells. Of the four Light Warriors, he is the most evil. Black Mage later changes class to Blue Mage.
- Fighter: A warrior specializing in swords and master of The Twelve Schools of Vargus-do Zodiac-Style Swordplay (Zodiac Kenshido for short). Skilled as he is, he is also naïve and childlike and has an almost single-minded sword fixation, as well as a short attention span. Of the four Light Warriors, he is the most "heroic". Fighter later changes class to Knight.
- Thief: The "leader" of the light warriors via a binding contract signed by Fighter. Also known as Prince Elf, Thief is the most greedy of the Light Warriors. Thief later changes class to Ninja.
- Red Mage: Versatile almost to the point of obsession and in the firm belief that the world is a role-playing game, Red Mage is the most knowledgable of the Light Warriors. Red Mage later changes class to Mime.
Friends and those they have met
The following characters have helped (or hindered) the Light Warriors in some way.
A priestess and member of Project Fate, she is on a mission to help the Light Warriors succeed in saving the world, apparently to accomplish her destiny. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, resulting in her prompt violent responses (usually by hitting him with a large mallet). White Mage was sent to the beginning of time by Sarda the Sage and inadvertently created the Universe. Now, after a discussion with the young Sarda billions of years ago, she has willed herself back to her own time. White Mage is generally only capable of casting healing spells, which has compensated for the sheer incompetence of the Light Warriors on multiple occasions; however, on one occasion, she has also cast a spell called "Holy Fire" on Black Mage.
(Evil) Princess Sara
The Princess of Corneria, daughter of King Steve and Queen Jane and the heir to the Cornerian throne, Princess Sara had already been kidnapped about a half-dozen times by the time Garland got to her. Her rescue is the first mission that King Steve gives to the Light Warriors. Although she appears to be a respectable princess, Sara hides a calculating and bloodthirsty nature. For this reason, she used her time as Garland's "prisoner" to attempt to coach him into becoming a more competent villain.
After the Light Warriors "rescued" her, Sara demonstrated incredible swordswomanship by single-handedly defeating a Giant. Since her return to Corneria, she has continued to show interest in evil, but has not taken any villainous action. At one point, she turned down an offer to take the fourth position in the then-forming Dark Warriors, which was eventually filled by Vilbert von Vampire.
King Steve
King Steve is the father of Princess Sara and a simple-minded lunatic who rules his country as a capricious despot. He was the one who first recruited the Light Warriors, requesting that they rescue his daughter, Sara, from Garland. Among other things, he has devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana, issued laws preventing anyone from criticizing his rule (and decreeing that his rule was perfect), believed he was running for election against a length of string (ignoring the fact that Corneria is a monarchy), talked to a coffee stain, which he named Rodney and made his right hand man, forgot who his daughter was every time she came back from being kidnapped and has shoes made of babies' skin ("Fresh Daily"). He spends time trying to make an excuse to start a war. He also brags about having invented multiple things and concepts, such as imagination, eating and the concept of inventing itself. He probably coined Corneria's national motto, "Screw other countries".
Left-hand man Gary
Gary is the "left-hand" man of King Steve, because the position of "right-hand" man had been filled by Rodney the Coffee Stain. While Gary seems to be little more than a suck-up, he does seem to be bothered by King Steve's seeming inability to control his mind, let alone his kingdom
An extremely skilled martial artist whose sense of orientation is all but non-existent. In addition, he is capable of defying the laws of physics by misunderstanding them. At least twice, this has led to warping the fabric of space, once, even creating a second version of himself (which was promptly turned to stone by Black Mage). Black Belt was assigned to guard White Mage on her mission, but was later slaughtered when he attacked Kary, the Fiend of Fire, in Gurgu Volcano.
Black Belt's teachers (who have color palettes identical to Ken and Ryu from the Street Fighter video game series) identify the fighting style they and Black Belt use as Wu Xia. Black Belt himself described the prevailing theory of his school as the credo that an opponent who is too broken to move is an opponent who is defeated. He has also stated that his martial art is only effective against (even partly) humanoid enemies - for example, he would be able to fight Arachna-Dude or man-spiders, but not plain or giant spiders.
According to Clevinger, Black Belt is permanently dead; even so, many fans apparently had a hard time accepting this and came up with various theories how Black Belt could be revived, the most persistent of which was bringing the stone Black Belt back to life. In a later episode (entitled "Now Shut Up," which seems to indicate a certain amount of frustration on Clevinger's part), White Mage did, indeed, try this; however, the top of Black Belt's head had eroded away by then and he merely turned into a (very briefly) living blood fountain, later given a proper burial by White Mage.
Matoya
A blind witch who sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her Seeing Crystal after feeding them poisoned nightmare-inducing cookies, promising them an antidote if they return with it. She also grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, instead of the Armor of Invincibility, due to her poor hearing. She is almost as greedy as Thief and once almost tricked Thief into paying her the entire kingdom of Elfland in return for his father's cure. Recently, it was discovered that Matoya has a romantic relationship with Bahamut.
Sarda the Sage
The Wizard Who Did It and sole occupant of the Circle Cave, Sarda sends the Light Warriors on quests to recover the Four Orbs. Sarda holds the Light Warriors to their "destiny", often using forceful means. He is an all-powerful wizard who, among other things, can reverse and stop time, as well as manipulate reality itself. He will readily do so out of sheer boredom, or just to screw people over. For example, humanity used to have 36-hour days, but Sarda reduced them to 24 just to make everyone hurry up. He never stops to think about the consequences of his actions.
Sarda planned to be the original creator of the Universe, but White Mage got there shortly before he did and set the Universe in motion by accident. Because the Universe obeyed only White Mage, Sarda was forced to remain in the vacuum of space for billions of years until the Earth formed.
Dwarf King
The ruler of the Dwarf Kingdom, this monarch seeks to locate the "Bearded Warriors". Red Mage had previously cast a spell to make all dwarves see the Light Warriors as dwarves, thus enabling the Light Warriors to convince the Dwarf King that they were, in fact, the "Bearded Warriors" the king was searching for. Once this was done, they used this position to locate the whereabouts of the Earth Orb. Later in the series, the King is seen giving a speech to his people after they had rebuilt from the rampant destruction brought on by Thief and Black Mage. Their kingdom is re-destroyed by a meteor spell cast by Black Mage, who "missed" his target (the target was virtually next to him). After the kingdom is redestroyed, the Dwarf King simply replies "Y'know, we probably shouldn't have left all the architects, engineers, and scholars in their homes when we called this meeting. Boy, hindsight, huh?"
The Dark Warriors
The characters, Garland, Bikke, Drizz'L and Vilbert, are villains who have teamed up to destroy the Light Warriors. They are collectively referred to as "The Dark Warriors". Each of the Dark Warriors have individually encountered the Light Warriors and attempted to kill them. They have not yet fought as a team. However, they did try to trap the Light Warriors on a ship that was to be sunk by sea monsters, but Black Mage killed the monsters and they become shipwrecked on a glacier/continent.
Garland
The first enemy faced by the Light Warriors, he initially had little self-confidence and no idea how to be a proper villian. He ended up being assisted by Evil Princess Sara, the alter ego of the princess, whom he had kidnapped. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he formed the Dark Warriors and began a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors. Garland is continually wrestling with his fear of Forest Imps, who, despite being the weakest creatures in the world, seem to possess 'clever little group tactics' in addition to an alarmingly malicious and cunning nature. Though therapy has convinced him that Forest Imps do not exist, the beasts still secretly torment him. Garland has the ability to summon huge creatures, including a giant squid, a dinosaur and a really big marmoset; the origin of these abilities is unknown.
Bikke the Pirate
Bikke is the hopelessly incompetent and dim-witted pirate captain who attacked Pravoka. A very cheap man, he killed his crew by feeding them nothing but Cheetos until they all succumbed to Scurvy. The second character to join the Dark Warriors, he desires to be called "The Claw", despite having two functional hands. Although he is a pirate captain, he cannot swim. Bikke is known for his intense body odor and his tendency to use clichéd pirate speech, characterized, for example, by interjecting "Yar" in every sentence.
Prince Drizz'L, Clan of the Dark Elves
A Dark Elf and the son of Astos, King of the Dark Elves. His name, a parody of the name of fictional dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden, translates from Elven roughly into "The Relentless Scourge." Drizz'L is a sword master equal to Fighter and controls of a pack of giant spiders. He became the third person to join the Dark Warriors after his defeat in Marsh Cave. He is one of the very few characters in the series with a clear head and considers himself the most intelligent of the Dark Warriors.
Vilbert von Vampire
A goth vampire, Vilbert is the son of Lich and fourth and final member of the Dark Warriors. He lived in the basement of his parents' house prior to meeting the Light Warriors; in addition, he enjoys writing horribly clichéd goth poetry, making him a parody of the "poser goth kid" cliché. Like any other vampire, he can be killed with a wooden stake. In an attempt to kill him, the Light Warriors drove the Armoire of Invincibility through most of his vital organs to incapacitate him. He later recovered and joined the Dark Warriors.
Running gag characters
The following characters appear throughout the comic as a running gag of some sort. With the exception of Akbar, all running gag characters are characters whose lives have been made miserable either by the Light Warriors or causes related to them.
Onion Kid
Onion Kid is a child who always seems to be in a location that leaves him or his loved ones vulnerable to Black Mage. He has been traumatized multiple times during the course of the comic:
- The first time, he goes into shock at the sight of Black Mage's unveiled face.
- Shortly after the above, he is mentally scarred again when he witnesses the scene of Black Mage's murder of two Cornerian city guards.
- His family is kidnapped by Black Mage and Thief at the Elfland National Campgrounds and later killed in their sleep.
- While visiting Crescent Lake, Black Mage butchers Onion Kid's first foster family.
- Out of anger, Black Mage destroys a barge full of medicines and food for dying orphans with a Hadoken. Coincidentally, the same giant cargo ship just happened to be going to the same orphanage Onion Kid lived in at the time, causing the head of the orphanage to kick him out because of his bad luck.
- When Black Mage pushes an old man out of the airlock of the Light Warriors' airship, he lands on a house with so much force, it kills everyone inside. The inhabitants were apparently Onion Kid's new set of rich, loving, adoptive foster parents.
According to an edition of Corneria's Kick Ass Newspaper, Onion Kid's real name may be Rex Crockett.
The Real Light Warriors
The Real Light Warriors are a party made up of a Knight, a Ninja, a Red Wizard and a White Wizard. Apart from the Knight, one of them is named Barry, who is often the one who gets blamed when they get in trouble. These four warriors were supposed to be the real Light Warriors of Destiny, as each possesses an actual Light Orb (seemingly unconnected to the Elemental Orbs the other Light Warriors are finding along their journey). They got passed over for the job by King Steve because their orbs weren't even "lukewarm with destiny", unlike Black Mage's light bulbs. Since then, they've always been one step behind the heroes. Their sprites are the respective class upgrades of Fighter, Thief, Red Mage and White Mage.
Akbar
A reference to Matt Groening's Life in Hell character, Akbar is a shopkeeper and master of rip-offs. Akbar delights in selling bogus items or offering shoddy services. He has sold many different flukes to the Light Warriors and other characters, including his amnesia dust, fake spells and a witness protection program. His stores consist of the following:
- Akbar's Discount Amnesia Dust Outlet (not talcum powder)
- Akbar's Discount Nutrinal (sic) Outlet (not extremely unhealthy)
- Akbar's Discount True Guardian Outlet (not pathetic creatures)
- Akbar's Airships (not deathtraps)
- Akbar's Shop O' Magic (not one single fraudulent item)
- Akbar's Very Effective Witness Protection Program (not utterly useless)
The Messenger and Elite Royal Guard Hank
When the Light Warriors were returning Princess Sara to the kingdom of Corneria, several rangers and scouts were sent out to search for the returning party, but instead, they got drunk. So when one messenger returned to inform King Steve that Princess Sara had yet to be found, King Steve declared that, being the bearer of bad news, the Messenger would be put to death. He then assured the Messenger that he was joking and sent him on his way. After the Messenger left, King Steve called in Elite Royal Guard Hank and told him to "See to it that the messenger who was just in here is dead before he leaves the castle." Hank charged after the Messenger, leaving King Steve to muse, "Did I remember to tell Hank I was joking?" Occasionally, we see the Messenger deliver messages for King Steve, while still fleeing Hank, who is never far behind.
The Other Warriors
The characters, Ranger, Berserker, Cleric and Rogue, are another band of warriors, based on character classes from the Dungeons & Dragons games. They are collectively referred to as "The Other Warriors".
Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger
A half-elf who is very poetic and adventurous, his poetics and wit put the charm on White Mage, making Black Mage jealous. He has a dual class, both of which are Ranger. Ranger is extremely friendly and trusting, though a bit naïve. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at once, with uncanny accuracy. A strange story that he told White Mage implied that he was a deranged murderer, although no other evidence has come up to support this yet.
Berserker Axinhed
In a cast of monodimensional characters, Berserker stands out because of a multiple personality. Half of the time, he is a civilized, gentle dwarf and a great conversationalist. The other half of the time, he is in a blind rage, swearing and shouting incoherently while mauling whomever may be nearby. When in his civilized state, he tends to wear a monocle.
Cleric
Cleric is a "miracle shopper" who makes deals with the Gods. To keep an open market, Cleric is impartial and does not have any favorites amongst the Gods, thus, explaining his atheism. Cleric made a deal with a God named Raven to bring Thief back to life; in return, the trickster God bestowed him with a "healing shiv", which has shown its worth in the healing of Thief.
Rogue
Not much is known about Rogue, besides the fact that, like Thief, he's constantly scamming people, including his own teammates. However, unlike Thief, who conducts his business through contracts and legal loopholes, Rogue apparently relies on a network of shady contacts (usually, he "knows a guy").
The Four Fiends
The characters, Lich, Kary, Kraken and Tiamat, are the evil elemental beings who are collectively referred to as "The Four Fiends". Kraken and Tiamat have not made an appearance in the comic yet, but since the comic roughly follows the plot of the game, it's safe to say they eventually will. The fiends are portrayed as far stronger than regular monsters; both Lich and Kary have managed to kill a main character, although Black Mage was later revived. Whenever a fiend appears, the comic takes a somewhat more serious air.
Lich, Fiend of Earth
An undead, immortal wizard and self-proclaimed "Master Bonescraftsman" who believes all things live to die and that the dead live to serve him.
Lich confronted the Light Warriors after they defeated his son, Vilbert. He killed Black Mage by breaking his spine. Afterwards, he easily stopped multiple attempts by Fighter to kill him, all due to the fact that he had put his soul into the Earth Orb, rendering him immortal. The Light Warriors managed to get Lich's soul back into him (Thief "stole" his soul out of the Earth Ord) and Black Mage (emerging as the ruler of Hell) banished Lich to the underworld. However, Lich revived the minions of Hell (whom Black Mage had incapacitated) and ousted Black Mage from his position. Lich's departing words were, "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back," a direct quote from Ghostbusters 2. Lich was last seen greeting his fellow fiend, Kary, as she entered Hell.
Kary, Fiend of Fire
Kary is a fiend who enjoys indiscriminately killing people via combustion, feeling it's the only way to prove she's evil. However, she overdoes it and ends up killing all her minions with little, if any, provocation.
During her battle with the Light Warriors, she killed Black Belt. Red Mage then managed to stuff her into a bag of holding and cast Ice-9 (a reference to "Ice-9" from Kurt Vonnegut's novel, Cat's Cradle), an enormously powerful Ice spell capable of freezing an entire Universe, into it. White Mage then shattered the frozen bag with her hammer, presumably destroying the bag and all its contents, which included Thief's collection of more treasure than actually existed. Kary was last seen being greeted by her fellow fiend, Lich, as she entered Hell.
The Gods
The following characters are all higher powers who have made contact with the Light Warriors.
Dr. Swordopolis
Dr. Swordopolis is the very incarnation of all things sword, taking the form of a bespectacled sword that shows up occasionally in Fighter's dreams or day-dreams, trying to tell Fighter of his fate, but usually ends up being ignored, due to Fighter's short attention span. He is also capable of altering the fabric of space-time and can possess people, apparently by inserting himself into their anuses. The name 'Dr. Swordopolis' was made up for the purpose of negating Fighter's naïveté. Fighter thinks there is a close resemblance between Dr. Swordopolis and Doctor Who.
Bahamut is the God-King of Dragons. He offered to give the Light Warriors "the power of self-realization and the power that comes with it" in exchange for the tail of the dreaded Dire Rat. When the Light Warriors brought him such a tail from the Castle of Ordeals, he granted their Class Changes. It later turned out that the reason Bahamut desired a rat tail was that rat tail soup is a potent virility drug, to be concocted by his girlfriend, Matoya. Coincidentally, Fighter learnes that earthquakes "Come from his [Bahamut's] bathing suit area". Bahamut is friends with Raven.
Raven
Raven is a totemistic representation of trickery. When Thief was nearly killed by Berserker, Raven tricked Thief into thinking he was dead. At the brink of dying, Thief's soul was in his own personal Hell, in which there was nothing to steal. Thief said that he would do "anything" to get out of the personal Hell he was in; subsequently, Raven got Thief to sign a contract, which Thief failed to read closely. The nature of the contract is still unknown. Raven is friends with Bahamut.
The Dark God
One of the Dark Gods Black Mage worships and the one who brought about his class change. The Dark God appears to be involved in some sort of rivalry with Dr. Swordopolis, although the exact implications of this rivalry are still unclear. His official title is "Executive Assistant to Chaos", being one of many middle management deities in the organization of evil.
The Dark God is unnamed, but due to the fact that his sprite is that of Magus from Chrono Trigger, many fans call him by that name. On the other hand, in the comic, Black Mage made up the name "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" in an attempt to convince his friends that he was, indeed, a Dark God.
Megahedron
Megahedron, who resembles a 20-sided die with sunglasses, appeared only once as Red Mage's patron deity. Red Mage, however, claims he is nothing more than a result of his "three-point hallucination flaw" (a reference to a series of RPGs stemming from a rule set by White Wolf) and it is currently unclear whether or not Megahedron will make another appearance and if he does, in fact, exist outside of Red Mage's mind.